Filming has begun. There's a scene where a bunch of well-to-do hippie parents smoke pot in front of their children on park benches in Tompkins Square Park. I think, wow, this is really a progressive production. One of the actor parents needs to dress up like a chicken. I look down and realize I'm dressed as a frog. I go to the feather/hardware department of the costume shop and start to fashion a headdress that resembles a feathered peacock tiara, but instead of putting it on the actor, I put it on over my frog costume and join in on one of the musical numbers. I thought the play was an improv kind of thing... but I start to get a nervous feeling that it was only scripted to appear that way.
I retreat backstage where I work on building a plywood ramp that will enable the children to slide onto stage. The cameras are backstage filming me and the other carpenters build the ramp. I hide between some sheets of plywood because I don't think I'm supposed to be on camera. Now, I'm really confused. When I'm backstage, I'm supposed to be on camera, but when I'm on stage, I'm supposed to be hiding in the wings.
I'm backstage as a stagehand/cater waiter for the Barneys New York annual shopping awards. At first, I think it's a more traditional ceremony where the audience is going to enjoy light refreshments while the awards are presented onstage. Come to find out, all of the audience members are the award recipients and the refreshments are the show.
Here's how it is supposed to work: before the curtains open, the tables are stocked and wheeled out onto the stage. Once the curtains open, the audience (who received tickets based on their Barneys expenditures the previous year) will descend on the stage and begin eating from the tables. As each table requires replenishment, the curtains are supposed to close, and a new table is to be wheeled onstage. So, we, the caterers are meant to stay out of view in the wings.
I've got a vacuum. The edges of the tables are all really sooty. I try to clean the dust and grime discreetly, but I keep getting spotted and/or heard by the audience.
What I don't understand is how we are supposed to stay out of view in the wings when the audience is on the stage. That's a far leap from willing suspension of disbelief. And, how do we close the curtains to do our behind-the-scenes work when the audience is on the wrong side of the curtains?
What's also strange is that there is also a huge spread of food in the wings for the presenters and guest speakers. Tons of oysters and caviar. Shellfish so fresh that it is still flailing around the table... the shells audibly rattling and ice pinging on the floor. So, the presenters and speakers eat off stage, visible to the audience eating on stage.
When I go further backstage, I find that the dressing rooms have been outfitted with designer trunk shows and specialty shops, and several members of the audience are busy backstage shopping. I wonder why we went to all the trouble of maintaining a boundary between the stage and audience if we weren't going to keep it at all. As a stagehand/waitress, I'm just hungry and can't find an appropriate place to grab a bite.
